


Still Alive

by glackedandmullered



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: and suicide, mentions of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-01
Updated: 2014-01-01
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:26:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glackedandmullered/pseuds/glackedandmullered
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan discovers a secret from Michaels past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Still Alive

**Author's Note:**

> let's be honest now, who's singing the portal song right now?
> 
> For a prompt on tumblr: ot6 prompt: Michael tried to kill himself by slitting his wrists or something when he was a teenager and never told the guys about it and they notice it when they're having sex or like leading up to sex and angsty michael and fluffy ot6 cuddles and telling him how perfect he is pls : )

He spent his whole life hiding it.

A fucking dumb mistake he made years and years ago which he just desperately wanted to forget.

But he’ll never be able to forget that night he sat alone on his bathroom floor at his parents’ house; gripping a razor tight in his hands as his parents slept, blissfully unaware of their son about to kill himself just feet from where they lay. He had never wanted it to end this way, bleeding out onto cold tile, watching the light dim as shadows clouded his vision; taking the cowards way out because he just wasn’t strong enough to keep his life going the way that it was.

He didn’t count on his Mom needing to pee late at night, the house only had one bathroom and he was staining it red. He hadn’t remembered to lock the door.

The rest of the night had gone by in a whir of flashing lights and stabbing pain and then heavenly silence as he was dragged out of consciousness only to be awoken now nearly enough time later by an old woman with too many wrinkles and a too crisp suit asking him all kinds of questions about his life.

He’ll never forget it but neither will anyone else.

They call it hypertrophic scarring. That was what developed when the wounds healed over, the deep cuts giving way to thick, red tissue that itched all the time and stung with phantom pains in the winter. Michaels mom called it the price he had to pay to keep his life, Michael called it another reason to hate himself.

He hid it well; long shirts or, when he moved to Austin where it’s hot as balls all year round, leather wrist cuffs he passed off as a manly fashion statement. 

It was months into the polyamorous relationship with the 5 men he worked with when the truth came out.

They lay there in the afterglow of a long night together. Gavin and Ray were drifting off and Michael wasn’t far behind. Ryan, who was the closest to Michael ran his hands down the lads arms gently, feeling the soft skin beneath his fingers. His hands drifted down to the cuff around Michaels wrist and felt the leather cuff. He had never questioned those bands that Michael wore one hundred percent of the time, none of them had, and it was just something that they got used to. Now though they were in the way, they seemed too big, too obstructive of the moment. So he un-clicked one and slid it off Michaels wrist, the young lad not stirring and Ryan continued his soft caress.

As he reached the skin where the cuff once covered he stopped. There was something there, a solid thick line across Michaels skin. He ran his fingers over it with a furrowed brow.

Michael jerked awake, startling Ryan as he tried to pull his arm out of Ryans grip and failing. Geoff groaned from the other side of Michael as the young lad kicked him in his struggle, leaning over to click the bedside lamp on.

“What the dicks are you doing?” He grumbled but Ryan and Michael were absorbed into a world of their own. Michael knew that from where Ryan was holding his wrist he was the only one who could now clearly see the large scar that blemished the otherwise flawless skin. He could ignore it, he could give Michael his cuff back, roll over, and just go back to sleep.

He could but he doesn’t.

“Michael, what is this?” He whispers and that catches Geoffs attention.

“It’s…nothing Ryan, nothing.”

“It’s not nothing, love.”

“You can fucking see what it is, Ryan.” All he received in response were those pitying eyes that his parents always gave him and he had spent so much time and effort trying to prevent ever seeing from the very person who looked at him right now.

“Fuck off, I’m going to sleep on the fucking couch.” He spat and clamoured over Ryan, over Gavin and Ray, his feet thudding on the wood as he grabbed his boxers off the floor and made his way down the stairs, tears of frustration already building in his eyes.

The others just sat there looking more confused than ever before and Ryan sighed, sliding himself down the bed and off turning to the guys before he left.

“I’ll deal with it. Just go back to sleep, I’ve got this.” He didn’t wait for a reply before quietly following Michaels route down the stairs, through the darkened hallway and into the living room where the other man was sitting. He had pulled on the boxers and was leaned over, his head braced in his hands and his shoulders shaking. He didn’t look up when Ryan sat beside him, didn’t respond when he put an arm around him and pulled him close.

“I never wanted you to find out.” Michael whispered and Ryan decided it was best not to say anything and just let Michael go at his own pace. “I was so stupid, it was a fucking dumb mistake that won’t fucking leave me alone.” He lifted his head and moved his hand to un-click the other cuff, revealing another similar scar, this one not as dark and nowhere near as raised as the one on his right.

Ryan gripped his wrists with firm hands, holding Michaels gaze while he lifted the limbs to his lips and kissed the hardened skin gently. Michael tried to pull away, wrists yanking loosely in Ryans grip but the other man held firm.

“It’s disgusting.” Michael sniffled, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“It’s not, and neither are you. It’s just… a black mark in your past but you know we’ll love you whatever, right? I love this scar because it means you survived long enough for us to meet you, you complete us, Michael. You’re incredible and a couple of scars aren’t going to change that. Not one bit.” He rocked Michael gently as he soothed him. Michael clung to him like a child, legs tangled with his and face pressed tightly to Ryans bare chest.

It was another hour before Ryan let Michael go long enough to drag him back up the stairs to their bed. The bed where the others all sat, still awake and waiting, wrapped around one another chatting quietly. Hey looked up when the other two entered and immediately shifted to make room in the middle for Michael who refused to let go of Ryans hand. He kept his hands by his sides effectively hiding the scars from the others and Ryan allowed him this moment of peace, held in the safety of his lovers arms, a moment to think about nothing at all but the calm he had needed for a long time.


End file.
